Custody AND Visitation

In Family Court, we talk about custody AND visitation because they are two very different things, and it is crucial to understand what each means.

Custody = decision-making authority

Visitation = who has the child(ren) when

Custody is the legal authority of a parent to make decisions for their child(ren). This power is particularly important for the "big stuff" - education, medical care, religion, and sport/extracurriculars. (The mundane day to day decisions like what cereal the child eats or color shirt they wear fall to whichever they are with that day). Joint custody means both parents have decision-making power, and therefore, the parents must discuss the situation and come to a resolution. If they cannot, they should then refer to the relevant expert - the child's doctor, teacher, counselor, etc. Additionally, the court typically considers the parent with primary physical residence as having the final say. Similarly, if parents have joint custody with final decision-making power to one parent, that parent has final say. If a parent has sole custody, they get to make all the big decisions, but they must keep the other parent informed of these decisions. The non-custodial parent then has the right to challenge the decision in court.

Visitation is also known as "parenting time," and it is the actual schedule of who has the child(ren) when. It is distinct and separate from custody. For example, one parent can have joint custody and only have visitation every other weekend. Recently, the courts have favored visitation schedules that give both parents fairly equal time with the child(ren). Some examples include:

• 2-5-2: Parent 1 gets Monday and Tuesday, Parent 2 gets Wednesday and Thursday, and weekends are alternated.

• Nesting: the child(ren) remain in one home while Parents 1 and 2 alternate living there with the child(ren).

• Week on, Week off: The child(ren) spends alternate weeks with Parents.

Courts have ordered every arrangement under the sun. However, courts prefer to not order anything -- they want parents to work it out themselves. Parents know their child(ren) and their schedules best. Working out a schedule that allows for quality time with both parents without further disruption of the child's life is always the best way to go.